But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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