i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
