I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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