Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You pole danced in your parka.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
