do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
