I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So vagazzling was a success
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
