At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
