apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
