wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
