i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
operation harelip BJ is a go
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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