we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
