Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
