do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
