I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
