How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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