I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
