That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
