hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
only you would photoshop your dick
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
