dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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