I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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