For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I love you. Go after that dick
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize