If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
