i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
