u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
