I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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