Your tits are I can't wait for
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
