i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
