uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
