I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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