hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you win again, gameday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
