I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
