Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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