you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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