he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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