the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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