just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
