Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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