I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
