So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
