You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
