you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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