id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
