yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she looked like the before picture.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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