He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize