She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
