i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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