I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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