Non-Jews are for practice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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