At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He felt like a one man threesome
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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