He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
