i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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