But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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