mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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