Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
