oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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