You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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